| POO! |
[Nov. 22nd, 2006|09:09 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  groggy | ] |
UMM.... Squidiggiggly poo
That is all. |
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| crap... |
[Oct. 19th, 2006|06:26 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sad | ] |
i haven't heard from John in 2 weeks. I know i shouldn't be freaking out or worrying cause its not even that long. But I am just the same... I've just been repeating the 'what ifs' in my head, and thats bad, i dont know what is going on over there or what he's doing, or how he's doing... feels like i'm out of the loop, but i like being in the loop. And that stress is fucking with my polo and school... i wake up at 6am for my morning practice and stare at my phone, expecting it to ring. but it doesnt so i just sit there waiting and end up missing my practice. then i'll fall asleep with my phone and his letters, and miss my classes... not to mention hmwk, that not only i don't want to do, i'm to tired/ preoccupied/ depressed to do.
This is my sad face, or what ever. I never thought this would be this hard, or how much it would distract me from the things i need to do. I just wish it was over with and John would come home so that i can be with him and things can get back to normal. i'm gonna go find some food now... |
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| meh... |
[Oct. 6th, 2006|12:03 am] |
So for a few days now i've been feeling depressed, when not being fully engulfed in a particular activity, that is, aka water polo, work, school. When I'm busy i stay somewhat sane. Anyway i've been feeling crappy, thinking about John, missing John, there has been a general lack-of-John lately, y'all know why.
I've been reading too much news, that can only be bad. Bush and his administration need to die. now.
I was at the mall with my parents the other day, at Sears, they were buying clothes to send to my brother and stuff, and i just got horribly depressed. I just kept wishing John was home, so then i could buy him some nice things, things i know he would like (and look awesome in). Then moving to the home departement of the store only made it worse, I want a house so bad, my one dream is getting a home with John, and getting to fill it with awesome stuff, as well as getting to take a crack at that whole interior design thing. We've been talking abou houses and stuff forever, and he wants one too. I dream about the move in process, and i just imagine a smile on his face, and knowing he is happy. Hell I cry thinking about him missing me, i wish he didnt have to go through that. And i'm worrying more and more, which is silly, because i know he'll be ok, but still in the back of my mnd there's that little 'what if' thats yelling at me. i need to shut it off but i cant. i feel like i'd be better if i could have one more hug, just one more, then i'd feel like i could do this, but i know its not coming, not for a long while. I can't believe that is has already been a month, that felt so fast, but then again i can't believe it has only been a month and there are still 6 more to go... Family, dont worry, im ok, just going to have a soggy pillow for 6 months, could result in a pruny face in the morning, but regardless i'll be fine <3 ok that was my shpeal, i'm going to try to sleep, or possibly just watch a movie till i pass out. |
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| bleh... |
[Oct. 3rd, 2006|01:14 pm] |
Here I am, at home being sick instead of being at School playing my beloved Water Polo. I've finally made a live journal, only cause i needed a way to reply to Heather's thingy. So yeah... now i'm going to go nap or something so i can feel better to go to work. I like work much better than school, school is boring! munis the Water Polo of course, thats awesome. Ok i'm rambling, all done!
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rhandy's journal
sick